Happy Shark Week, Y’all.

Shark Week is one of those things that will forever be a euphemism for menstruation. I get that. But, it's also a pretty sweet week of TV for those of us with no serviceable skills, friends, or loved ones. We can all remember what life was like back in our pre-teens when sharks and dinosaurs were the most badass and important things in existence. Remember that? Back before hormones, poor choices, and awful luck turned our lives into complete and total failures?

So yeah, Shark Week! Yeah!

It began in earnest last night with the second most ridiculous shark-related content to be released this year (anyone in the class want to tell me what was number one?), a mockumentary of sorts involving the possibility that megalodon (the giant shark from pre-historic times) possibly still lives. If this is the kind of stuff you're taking seriously and it's upsetting you, I earnestly suggest you take a look at the world around you and embrace the shark. Ok?

Wil Wheaton is pissed, by the way. But who cares? This week is gonna be the best...unless, of course, I find a girlfriend, reunite with my long lost family, or y'know, make some real-life friends.