Halle Berry Braless

There's an art to turning fifty. If that art involves you posting braless selfies worthy of a late night tug, you're nailing your art.

Through all the husbands and baby daddies and the overwrought expressions of self-important craftswoman, if you look like Halle Berry, you're perceived as a winner. Women who cry foul at being judged on their looks don't have tits that are holding up nicely after half a century. Surgery smurgery. Everybody has access to the same Yellow Pages.

True empowerment comes from making members of the opposite sex half your age pleasure your genitals and attend your stupid dinner parties. That doesn't fit on a t-shirt, but don't think it's not discussed at meetings.

^{Photo Credit: @halleberry/ Instagram}