Gaming’s Whacked Out Week: Conan O’Brien is Disappointed by the Lack of Sex in ‘Watch Dogs’ (VIDEO)

People of Chicago, close your drapes! Conan O'Brien is trying to watch you doing the dirty.

Now, you may have noticed that the much-ballyhooed Watch Dogs released earlier this week. This morally ambiguous, hacktastic Grand Theft Auto has quite a burden to bear. For many of us, it fueled the Hype Train that made us purchase the Xbox One and/or PS4 in the first place. And now, we're pummeling our bloodied fists on the windows of Ubisoft's HQ and howling this better live up to the hype! I spent a week's beer money on this!

Well, fear not, you crazy sober bastard. The verdict is in. Or rather, this guy's verdict is. Behold Conan's latest Clueless Gamer review.

If you want insightful analysis about gameplay, the length of the campaign, how much there is to do in the city, all of that BS, you're in the wrong place. Instead, our host steals a delivery truck, attempts to make an impromptu UPS commercial, and somehow ends up upside down in the river. He then steals a woman's boat, takes her hostage and accidentally shoots her in the face while looking for the non-existent ‘make out button.'

Several unfortunate pedestrians were maimed in the making of this video. But, worse than that, the sex is only implied.