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GAMING
bill-swift - November 26, 2013
There are only two things you'll ever need to know about bandicoots. The first is that one of them was once, fleetingly, a gaming superstar. The second is that they have bizarre bifurcated (split into two, essentially) dicks.
But this is no time for weird penis facts, so to business. The more decrepit gamers among us may have fond memories of Crash Bandicoot. In the nineties, this furry little bastard was Sony's Mario, up there on Platforming Hero Mountain with the mustachioed one. And Sonic the Hedgehog, he was still badass at this point too.
A trilogy of garishly-colored adventures (Crash Bandicoot, Crash Bandicoot 2: Cortex Strikes Back and Crash Bandicoot: Warped) cemented Crash's place in the genre. They were brilliantly creative, varied and utterly crazy-ass. The real miracle was Crash Team Racing, perhaps the only Mario Kart clone in history not to be an utterly shit-tastic mess. But where is he now?
MIA since 2008, that's where. Still, though, conspiracy theorists suggest that this poor has-been may be making a comeback. In a recent live action commercial for the PlayStation 4, a brief freezeframe shows what appears to be the bandicoot on a roadsign. What with that, and an arrow pointing to the Sony logo, a shitstorm of ginger marsupial enthusiasts have emerged, insisting that the second coming is nigh.
Watch as IGN attempts to unravel the mystery. Not 'who still gives a shit about Crash Bandicoot,' the other mystery.
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