Freaking Finally, ‘The Floor Is Lava’ Is A Video Game

  The more discerning Ego-gamers among you will probably be familiar with Don’t Starve. This survival title grabbed me by the cajones immediately with its creepy-ass 2D visuals, and its general Tim Burton-ish spirit kept me coming back death after death after death.  

I froze to death at night. I burnt to death in a huge forest fire I inadvertently set with my lighter. I had my scrote eaten by marauding hounds. I went completely insane and was killed by bizarre shadow monsters that didn’t exist. And I loved every goddamn minute of it.

In short, Don’t Starve gets twenty thumbs up from me, and anything developer Klei Entertainment puts out in the future is on my ‘to watch’ list as well. So you can imagine my bowel-control-losing excitement to see this, their upcoming The Floor Is Lava simulator.

You remember this one, I’m sure. The game we’d all play as little urchins, before puberty, bills, receding hairlines and all the other BS that comes with ‘growing up’ set in. The rules were simple: jump over and onto any darn surface you like, but don’t touch the floor. Because the floor, in case this wasn’t clear already, is MOTHEREFFING LAVA.

Needless to say, this has needed to become a video game for far too long now. At last that dream is a reality. Feast your eyes on the Hot Lava trailer, feast and bask in its glory.