Ellen DeGeneres Tied in PC Knots

In a world of universal oppression, even the righteous among us will be wiped with the broad brush of patriarchy, bigotry, and hate speech. Ellen DeGeneres hasn't uttered an offensive word in fifteen years of banal afternoon television. She donates to the right charities, wears spiffy unisexual pantsuits, and frequently dances with black celebrity guests. Total sham.

Ellen's plantation owner mentality toward minorities was instantly revealed with one of her laugh out loud Ellen Photoshopped celebrity tweets depicting her riding on the back of Usain Bolt during his 100M Heat in Rio.

This is how I’m running errands from now on. #Rio2016

Funny to you, comedy maven. Maybe less funny to people whose ancestors had to carry skinny white lesbians on their backs during errand hour. After numerous people who scour social media hoping to be offended turned tables on Ellen's heinous Tweet, the talk show host came out with an apology explaining how this isn't at all how she feels about race.

"I am highly aware of the racism that exists in our country. It is the furthest thing from who I am."

Nice try. Why are you highly aware of racism? Because you're plotting your next racially insensitive Photoshopped celebrity photobomb? Alec Baldwin lost his talk show for merely dropping an N-bomb and calling a paparazzo a fucking faggot once or seventeen times.

Stating clearly as Ellen does that black people exist solely as forms of transportation for their wealthy white masters seems worse. Some multicultural sensitivity workshops seem the least of what ought be mandated. Some kind of censorship ban on her speech for a period of time. Followed by not entirely baseless accusations of her sleeping with tons of white women and a lynching. Kangaroo courts have yet to be surpassed in terms of thoughtful jurisprudence. 

_{Photo credit: Ellen/Twitter}