E3 2016: Remember Crash Bandicoot? Sony Do

  As a little urchin in the 90s, there was a lot to be unsure of, a lot of questions. All those shitty fashions and hairstyles, Walkmans the size of housebricks and this terrifying new ‘Internet’ thing and such. In the midst of all this, though, there was one thing I was certain of: I was a Sony man through and through. 

It was a simpler time. A time of anthropomorphic freakish creatures starring in platformers. Who the hell had time for Mario, when you could play as Spyro instead? As we know, pulling the whole ‘being a dragon’ card trumps a lot of things. That said, some of my favorite nostalgiatastic gaming memories come from Crash Bandicoot.

Sure, attempts to bring the little orange bastard back in more recent years have mostly been balls-out disasters. Still, that original trilogy was gold. The awesome 3D, the varied levels (from motorcycle racing to cruising along on a teeny polar bear’s back), the less-cretinous-than-Sonic 90’s ‘tude, the humor… they were good times all round.

So, for fellow bandicoot fans, I’ll just leave this latest E3 2016 update here: Crash Bandicoot, Crash Bandicoot 2: Cortex Strikes Back and Crash Bandicoot 3: Warped are being remastered in spangly new HD. All we’ve got is a super-vague 2017 release date for the trilogy, but it’s nice to see a remaster you’re actually assed about now and again.