Dina Lohan Claims Paps Made Her Drive Drunk

Dina Lohan is now saying that the reason she drove drunk was because of the paparazzi. We told you a while back about Dina getting arrested for driving blitzed out of her bleached skull. Now her lawyer Mark Heller says that the reason that she got loaded and drove that fateful night was because of the continued stress caused by the paparazzi and media talking about how she's a horrible fucking person. You know, for doing things like driving drunk. He told members of the press:

"It is the professional opinion as stated here by the evaluator, that the circumstances leading to Dina's arrest were largely impacted by ongoing daily stresses caused by you folks, the paparazzi. Media attention and repeated character profiles."

Who the fuck is The Evaluator? That sounds like somebody you hired to pretend to be a doctor but aren't legally allowed to call a doctor in court. I'm sure that it's fucking annoying to be constantly followed by the paparazzi. You can't snort a rail or steal money from your daughters bank account without somebody finding out. Still, nobody puts the booze in your mouth except for you. Well, you and the skeezy guy at the bar who secretly bet his buddies he can plow Lindsay's mom.