Ciara And Russell Wilson Weirdos

It's tough to tell whether or not Russell Wilson is about to perform anilingus on his pregnant wife while he pretends she's Channing Tatum. Is he gripping her belly like a crystal ball because he's trying to read the fetus' fortune? Namely, is it mine? There's already one rapper offspring in this photo. He might want to sue his new age narcissist parents for making him engage in their self wanking.

Wilson and Ciara claim they didn't have sex prior to getting married. That's pretty conservative behavior coming from a chick who's fucked every rapper west of the Mississippi. Any man who'd agree to such terms is most certainly gay, if you couldn't tell by Wilson's face and scapegoat obsession with Jesus. If it weren't for Jesus, you'd have had no other excuse to not fuck your notably promiscuous girlfriend. 

Every husband makes certain concessions. You'll go with your wife to see La La Land. Hell you'll even catch a showing of Magic Mike XXL after dinner. You're not uptight. However, when your wife invites you along to her friend's wedding gown fitting party, you either tell her to go fuck herself or make something up. Nobody is that pussy whipped, you're a gay guy. When Ciara suggested this photo shoot to Russell Wilson he no doubt readily agreed, a little too eagerly for comfort, scampering off to grab a few shirts from the closet. This one would look nice. Her stomach sinks a little. This baby kind of looks like Kendrick Lamar. 

_{Photo Credit: Instagram}