Chocolate Farts

It's a well known fact that the holiday season not only brings about good cheer but also increased flatulence. I know that I and my family were certainly gaseous clouds after last night's Thanksgiving feast. Farts are caused by the discharge of waste from intestinal bacteria whose job it is to digest that fifth slice of pumpkin pie you just had to have. There is nothing very pleasant about toots...until now. A French inventor named Christian Poincheval has created a pill that makes farts smell like chocolate. You simply take the pill before a big meal and it makes the bacteria in you gut produce choco scented gas. As Poincheval explains that the pill "allow the user to fart through to the New Year in grand style." He says he came up with the idea after he and his hippie frog friends stunk up a restaurant,

"Our farts were so smelly after the copious meal, we nearly suffocated. The people at the table next to us were not happy. Something had to be done. When we were vegetarian we noticed that our gas smelt like vegetables, like the odor from a cow pat, but when we started eating meat, the smell of the flatulence became much disagreeable. We needed to invent something that made them smell nicer"

How did we let the French beat us to this invention? Surely, this is a huge failure on our part. We are America, gosh darn it and we are known for our innovation. Yet we allowed the French...THE FRENCH...to beat us. It's time we took a long hard look at what our priorities are, America.