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Sam Robeson - September 27, 2018
Cardi B. is a random plastic surgery victim from some shit hole in New York City. From what I understand she doesn't actually speak English due to a severe and tragic learning disability, but loves flapping her dick hole lips together nonetheless. And people love listening to her dick hole lip blabber. It's soothing. Like a baby blowing bubbles with its vomit.
For as much as I want to dismiss Cardi B. as a handicapped hooker enjoying a momentary career upswing, I like the fact that she doesn't lie about her body. The Jenndashians, for the most part, refuse to acknowledge the truckloads of off-brand Mexican Gak that have been injected into their tits and asses. On the other hand Cardi B. dick hole blubbered about the time her ass literally leaked from botched injections at the hands of a hack doctor. This candor continues in a new Instagram video in which Cardi dick hole blabbers about her saggy post-pregnancy plastic surgery tits, and vows to have more surgery on them in the future. Since deciphering her words in the video would require a trash hooker Rosetta Stone, here's the transcript:
I have to fucking tape my titties up because, son, giving birth and shit – like my titties was already like a little low-low, you know what I'm sayin' cause I got my tits done when I was 19 and I never wore a bra and shit... While I was pregnant my shit was lookin' nice, though...now Kulture did me filthy. I don't give a fuck if y'all motherfuckers see me gone in November/December, I'm gettin' my tits done.... Matter of fact, I'm not even gonna call it surgery, I'm just gonna say a "titty renovation" cause I gotta renovate these shits...
I'm honestly at a point in my intense hatred for these types of celebs that by simply acknowledging that she's a botched whore, Cardi B. feels refreshing. Plus she makes motherhood look so classy. Basically, is Cardi B. better or worse than Kim Kardashian? That's where were at. And I'm genuinely curious.
Photo Credit: Instagram
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