Brooke Mueller Off the Reservation

The concern that Charlie Sheen's messed up twin boys by way of ex-wife Brooke Mueller had gone missing seems to be alleviated. They weren't missing at all. They were with their mom who was barefoot and mumbling walking her boys into local Salt Lake City bars looking for answers to the extraterrestrial invasion. At least the seven year olds have a consistent experience when with mom or dad.

Brooke Mueller is a drug addict with arrests for possession and assault, making her at the time the perfect bride for Charlie Sheen. That Christmas Charlie chased her around the Yuletide log with a kitchen knife sent them both into fits of giggles. Crazy couple. Mueller was in rehab as recently as earlier this year, which by virtue of relative inability to care for children, still made her the more fit parent than Sheen who was busy explaining how Tiger's Blood was code for The AIDS. At one point, Sheen's other ex, Denise Richards, took supervision of the twin boys when both bio parents were incapacitated. Then the little scamps started lighting fires in her home and praying to Satan over squirrels they'd slaughtered and she felt it better to return them on the next available ferry.

Sources friendly to Mueller said the Salt Lake City episode is no big deal, and a result of Mueller going off her medications. If you live a life like Mueller, you need to prep your cohorts with better go-to excuses for erratic and criminal behavior. Charles Manson was off his meds. Try postpartum depression. The kids are seven but the diagnosis remains politically favorable. Spend an afternoon with those crack born twins and see if you don't feel a little depressed. 

_{Photo credit: Splash News}