As the NES Turns 30, We Salute R.O.B. the Robot, the Most Hilariously Craptacular (Yet Awesome) Gaming Add-on Ever Made

As the masters of nerdly knowledge among us already know, this week marks the thirtieth anniversary of the NES (known as the Famicom or ‘family computer' in Japan, where it was first released in July 1983). The console's design may be about as exciting as, and resemble, an old beige VHS player with a limp scrote, but this decrepit wonderbox was all kinds of a big deal.

The Nintendo Entertainment System is credited with helping to haul the U.S video game industry out of Shit Creek with its popularity, and for its catalog of still-pretty-damn-great classic games. This is the home, after all, of the original Metroid, Zelda, Final Fantasy and Mega Man, among others. You can't argue with that. It's like being beaten in the man-boobs with pure awesome pedigree.

But it's not all good news. The NES is also responsible for unleashing upon us... the ridiculous slice of shite that was R.O.B. (Robotic Operating Buddy). This 1985 peripheral was a battery-operated midget that looked a little like a Fisher-Price E.T. Its limited range of movement and general excess of suckitude --see the below clip, hosted by a bored-sounding dude-- made for a new, absurd, and mostly worthless way to play.

The concept was, presumably, to make the most half-assed gaming ‘controller' imaginable. The other half of the plan? Ensuring that it functions only with a mighty total of two different games. That's a recipe for surefire success, right there. Hey, ma! We're selling the house! I've gotta buy a thousand of these bastards!

The R.O.B.-compatible games were Gyromite and Stack-Up. These utilized the little dude's stunted range of vertical movement and pitiful opening-and-closing-arms shenanigans to aid navigation through a simplistic platformer or... stack colored disks. Somehow, inexplicably, this ballache didn't catch on.

Now, Wii owners can attest to Nintendo's love for superfluous plastic crap. The Wii Zapper, the Wii steering wheel, tennis racquet and golf club attachments you can whack onto your Wii Remote and look massively dickish in the process; all of these and more. Still, only R.O.B. manages to personify that crazy-ass, entirely useless but brilliant spirit.

Sure, the games sucked monkey nuts, but this little ‘bot lives on as a symbol of Nintendo, video games and retro-ness. It's got quite some collectible value now, with its profile raised a little by recent playable appearances in Super Smash Bros and Mario Kart. As a testament to general ridiculous, though, it's probably beaten only by the company's own Virtual Boy.

Source of images: videogamemuseum and eBayer sprauketz.