Alicia Keys Make-Up No More

Alicia Keys has decided she's no longer going to be shackled with the oppression of makeup. A bold move after fifteen successful years in the music business racking up her first $140 million in earnings. Please say you don't care if skipping blush hurts your career. She penned a conveniently inspiring essay as all famous women must do now for Lena Dunham's trendy blog. It's like young sailors lining up a Tijuana hooker. You're going to want to fit in.

One of the many things I was tired of was the constant judgment of women. The constant stereotyping through every medium that makes us feel like being a normal size is not normal, and heaven forbid if you’re plus-size. Or the constant message that being sexy means being naked. All of it is so frustrating and so freakin’ impossible.

Is this about your being pudgy or having to cover up your pimples with foundation?

I don’t want to cover up anymore. Not my face, not my mind, not my soul, not my thoughts, not my dreams, not my struggles, not my emotional growth. Nothing.” 

Oh. That's some heavy blame on your mascara. If only this economy produced jobs that didn't require you to be on camera constantly. The girls down at the cannery are fortunate not to have their dreams and struggles masked by makeup demands. Rich people make shitty spokespeople for every cause, including how to get rich. 

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