Alice Eve Kills Trekkies

It's a known fact that Star Trek nerds will beat off to just about any sci-fi character with a vagina or cloacal sac of some type. The fanboy tug vault standards start and finish right at the 'she's not that fat and almost cute' level. It's why several thousand grown men living in their parents basement suffered cardiac arrest during the Battlestar Galactica run. It was just too much for them. Alice Eve in Star Trek Into Darkness may prove to be the same. If you see a fat dude vigorously Vulcan saluting himself during the movie, do not act surprised. Remind him that Starfleet Command requests that he stop beating his meat in a public venue. If he resists, invoke General Order 4 and punch him hard in his spleen.

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