Adriana Lima In Your Dad’s Jock

Europeans are always fucking things up. D-Day is as good a day as any other to remember how many times we've had to pull Europe's ass out of the fryer. Do we get so much as a thank you. Hardly. We get cowboy jokes and sneers and mocking condescension from people sipping milk out of eco-friendly non-refrigerate refillable vacu-pouches. It's like having a disaffected Goth kid in the house who eats your food and then talks shit about you in his Fey the Dark Lord chat room. Fuck you, Europe. I'll rip that nipple ring right off your pouty bare man tit. I guess I'm mostly over WWII. Putting Adriana Lima in a hybrid rugby-soccer-lacrosse jock is another matter. It's insane that you're still considered a continent.

Photo Credit: Vogue Italia