Charlie Sheen called the Dan Patrick Show

Charlie Sheen called the Dan Patrick Show today, presumably to let everyone know that he was clean and sober and in a great frame of mind, but really he just sounded like a complete drunken ass.

When asked why his voice was sore, Sheen explained that he went to the set of Two And A Half Men, which is on hiatus, and banged on the doors for them to let him in. But no one would. Perhaps because, as previously implied, no one was there.

"I just figured I was supposed to go back to work because I'm ready," he said. "They said, 'You get ready [and] we'll get ready.' And I got ready."

Let's just pretend for a second that the rest of the cast and crew live on the set and would be there at whatever random hour Sheen decided to show up. Actually let's not because that's stupid. The only way that banging on doors that you know are locked proves you're ready to go to work is if you're an escape artist. Otherwise you're just sort of an asshole.