Rihanna Wants Her Own Stalker

Some guy hung around outside of Rihanna's house for three hours before he was scared off by a security guard. The cops caught the guy and since hanging around outside an auto-tuned pop singer's house is not illegal they made some shit up and charged him with vandalism. The police think the guy is just a random petty criminal but Rihanna's security guards claim he is a stalker. I'm going to trust the cops over the guys who tried to be cops and were denied based on background checks and the inability to run a flight of stairs. Claiming every sketchy asshole to be a stalker is definitely self serving publicity wise. The guy who stole the generator out of my garage at three in the morning was probably totally obsessed with me. He just wanted something of mine and is probably jerking off to it right now. I can't change what happened but I've been leaving my keys in the car so I can make some new fans.

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