Fran Drescher Beard Sex

Fran Drescher revealed she used to get regularly porked by her ex husband Peter Marc Jacobson while he pretended her front hole was something else. They were married for 21 years, and Jacobson was the creator and writer of Drescher's horrendous sitcom The Nanny, which had nothing to do with why she said Yes when he proposed over sea breezes at the Boom Boom Room. In truth it was a shared love of superficiality. Buying new curtains at the mall can transcend even God's cruelest tricks:

"I have a gay art dealer, a gay dermatologist not to mention my hairdresser. I have a gay ex husband! People always say to me, 'How did you not know?' He loves decorating and fashion and clothes, but we actually did have sex a lot."

Wow you know gay people? You're so now. That doesn't explain why you were married to an out of the closet gay guy, or how you didn't know. I'm guessing he came home at all hours of the night and you just went down on the cat. Your friends would be proud. Please stay indoors, you're annoying. I just dusted off our first strap on.

Photo Credit: Getty Images