Matt Barnes Suspended

The NBA took nearly three months to enforce the rule against players threatening to kill other teams coaches for sleeping with their ladies by suspending Matt Barnes of the Memphis Grizzlies for two games. Back in early October Barnes raced over to his separated wife's house party in Redondo Beach because he heard former Lakers guard and current Knicks coach Derek Fisher was telling everybody about how sweet Barnes' wife Gloria Govan's pussy was. I'm not sure he said that, but that was what was racing through Barnes' mind. He arrived, punches were exchanged, a couple death threats, and everybody agreed that it was the least violent NBA baller house party ever. The cops got involved which forced the league to do something.

Barnes has been known throughout his career as a goonish player who eggs on altercations during games. Now the Grizzlies are going to be without his double knees in the air 3-point clanks for two games. Jealousy truly is the green-eyed monster. If you thought your ex was going to hook up with a nerdy second grade teacher next, you have a poor assessment of the type of woman who thinks you're a decent guy. There's some unwritten rule in sports about fucking other players ex-ladies, but there's an overriding rule about whore wives fucking your rich friends when they're done with you. Life is like basketball. Only the superstars get to call their own fouls.

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