Rocky Barnes in A Bikini

Somebody invented Swim Week in Miami for when the scent of Cuban armpit is especially strong. It's a time in mid-July for thousands of women designing nearly identical bikinis all stitched in the same garment factory in The Killing Fields to hire out tons of hot bodied Florida Junior college chicks.

There are worse fashion events to attend. Like every single other fashion event. The bikini is the quintessential American fashion statement. Especially since we nuked the shit out of the Bikini Atolls. Who invented the two piece swimsuit again and do you prefer fission or fusion? Glowing dead men tell no tales. You never had enough Armenian night club owners to make it worth your while.

 _{Photo Credit: Splash/FameFlynet}