Open Post: Do You Eat Ass? Sponsored By Tom Brady Confirming That He Eats Ass

As soon as bae gets out of the shower #AssEatinSZN @barstooloutdoors

A post shared by Barstool Sports (@barstoolsports) on Jun 27, 2018 at 12:36pm PDT

If you were ever going to quit the Internet and gives books a chance again, now would be your moment. In fact, here's a list of all the public library systems in the US. Go. Go and never look back. So, yeah. Tom Brady likes eating buttholes. Or likes having his butthole eaten. The details aren't clear yet.

Even superstar football players have time to kill on Instagram, and under a pic Barstool Sports posted of a hippo Human Centipede-ing another hippo with the caption "As soon as bae gets out of the shower #AssEatinSZN," the Patriots quarterback responded with not one, not two, but three laugh-cry emojis followed by "yep."

I for one am all for maintaining a little bit of mystery when it comes to my sports stars, but I understand that this is a very passé notion. In 2018 we should know if Tom Brady bends over supermodel wife Gisele Bündchen and sticks his tongue up her crapper. Or vice versa. Again, we're awaiting more details. Which we'll surely get since this is 2018. So, do you like eating ass? Do you like getting your ass eaten? Remember. Libraries. You can leave this all behind.

Photo Credit: Instagram / Pacific Coast News / Splash News