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Sam Robeson - October 2, 2018
If you've seen any spinoff project from any Teen Mom, then you pretty much get the gist of Noah Cyrus' career and aesthetic. She wants to look like trash, and considering her pedigree, the lofty goal isn't proving to be overwhelmingly difficult. A quick scroll through Cyrus' Instagram will tell you that she isn't above anything besides showering, and now we have a pic of her nips in a see-through shirt. And they somehow look greasy. Like you could use these things to coat a pan before frying an egg. Needless to say, I just exploded in my pants.
The eighteen-year-old Cyrus has fixated on recreating the Bangerz-era look of her older sister Miley, but - and this is going to follow me all the way to the Pearly Gates - Miley's hotter. That's right. I'm saying Miley Cyrus is hotter than something besides that roadkill that Billy Ray deep-fries for Thanksgiving. Jesus save me. In order to go trailer chic you need to not look like you belong in a trailer, which is the fatal flaw in Noah's career thus far. But she has 4.5 million Instagram followers, so who am I to judge. If the cash me outside girl can have a legitimate singing career, then Noah Cyrus can be considered sexy for flaunting her Crisco nips. Proceed without caution. Because this is sexy!
Photo Credit: Instagram
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