Taylor Swift’s Boy Toy Is A Very Private Person

TS are two letters that I’m not too fond of when they finally come together like the upper back fat and lower stomach flap of Amy Schumer when she sits down. Because it either means the topic is chicks with dicks or Taylor Swift. Neither my cup of Lipton tea. But what I do find interesting is how okay Swift is with her new boyfriend being so private when she’s outed herself as the queen of privacy violations at her concerts. I guess the meaning of true affection for Taylor is surveilling every person’s face but his. Cupid, look what you made her do.

Taylor Swift’s boyfriend, Joe Alwyn, wishes everyone wouldn’t get so hung up on how private he is.

In an interview with Mr. Porter, the British actor, who features in awards season hopeful “The Favourite,” said he feels there’s nothing weird about his reticence to spend time in the spotlight.

“I don’t think more than anyone else,” the 27-year-old told the website. “I don’t think anyone you meet on the streets would just spill their guts out to you, therefore why should I? And then that is defined as being ‘strangely private’. Fine. But I don’t think it is. I think it’s normal.”

I don’t know about you but I’m anticipating their breakup. Because he’ll be the newest ex-boyfriend, and the focus of her new album, as usual. If Swift ever decided to remain single, she would never have any material. Or a career. But those singles that come from this split should be pretty brutal. And it’ll be hard to refute the rumors Taylor starts about him because of how private he is. I wonder if she’ll blame the break up on him having a small penis. Or being in the closet. Or being British. Spelling things like "favourite" and "colour" with a "u" is deal-breaker for most Americans. Maybe, if we're lucky, she'll deliver a Bohemian Rhapsody-like melody conflating all three reasons.

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