Jess Woodley Wild Side In An Animal Print Thong

Jess Woodley has some definition going on with her body. She must be doing Cross Fit. All of the ripped girls do Cross Fit. There must be something in their doctrine that demands a strong core, because I rarely see women outside of that cult who have stomachs that can compete with those that are in it.

That’s why I could never join a cult like that. I have had my opportunities to join a number of other cults, but they were the kind that made you end up looking worse than when you started. And since the Unabomber look has not come back into style yet, I have had to give them soft passes.

I do not know what put the idea into Jess’s head that she should change her hair to tangerine, but I’m glad she went through with it. So often women try to make their hair look natural when they dye it, which I do not understand. We all know that isn’t the real color, so who are they trying to convince? Did they think we’d forget? I can notice when a woman’s boobs go up a size during a pregnancy. I doubt my skills at observation end below the neckline.

Photo Credit: Backgrid USA