Chess And Ritual Sacrifice

There is nothing more mentally stimulating than a nice game of chess. Unless, of course, your mind is being bashed in with a dumbbell before your heart is cut out and eaten. That's exactly what happened in Dublin when a chess game between Saverio Bellante and Tom O'Gorman went horribly wrong. It seems that the deeply religious O'Gorman got into it with Ballante during the game. Maybe he tried to rook his king when he wasn't able or maybe Bellante is just a total effing psycho. Either way, Bellante bludgeoned him with a dumbbell and then proceeded to stab him in the chest repeatedly. He then attempted to remove the heart and eat it. That's when he decided that maybe he should stop and call the cops. This may seem like an isolated incident but it's just the latest example of chess related violence.

Chess is a violent game that corrupts the minds of young people. It's all about killing your opponents pawns and knights through trickery. Parents worry about modern video games but let their pimply, virginal sons join the chess club. You might as well put the knife in their hands. Next thing you know they are going to be sacrificing the cat to Satan and will start murdering their roommates. Chess is a gateway to more violent games like D&D and Magic: The Gathering and at that point your kids will be lost to you. The Dark Lord will have them by the bishops.