Is ‘Getaway’ the Only Movie You Can See This Weekend?

Seriously, on Labor Day Weekend 2013, is a Selena Gomez vehicle the only movie worth seeing in theaters?

Probably.

Sure, there's that whole concept, 'Let's go see some smaller movies that haven't been rammed down our throats by a monstrous Hollywood marketing machine!' But why would you want to do that? I dunno. Let's see what opened this week, shall we?

1.   I Declare War

This is by far your best bet. Don't argue with me, I'm right. The logline? 'Summer war games between neighborhood kids turn deadly serious when jealousy and betrayal enter the mix.' Yeah. Check it.

2. Closed Circuit

This is actually your second best bet this weekend. I'm not saying it's going to be great, but it'll sure beat eating Cheetos out of your belly button while watching stuff at your un-air-conditioned house.

3.  Afternoon Delight

A stripper / hooker teaches a bored housewife about the true meaning of Twerking. I'll watch it, y'know...if it's already on and stuff.

4. The Lifeguard

Meh. Just meh. A major plus? No Selena Gomez.

Then there is, of course, always this piece of shit: