Why Won’t They Put Lindsay Lohan in Sexy Girl Jail?

So, Lindsay Lohan was given another Get Out of Jail Free card by somebody in a robe this past weekend. No, I don't think troubled actresses with drug problems belong in prison. But, yes, I do imagine that women's prisons are chock full of lesbionics and vag-vag thumping from cell door to shower floor, morning, noon, and night. And, how am I ever going to get pictures of bodacious ginger, Lindsay Lohan, being initiated into some butterfly sex gang in prison if she's allowed to swap sexy girl jail time for sushi-and-Netflix rehab time? I'm focused on the greater good here. Sadly, this judge is not thinking like an Egotastic! reader.

Photo credit: INF Photo