They Don’t Make Bullies Like Billy Zabka Anymore

A video went viral yesterday of a TV anchor named Jennifer Livingston responding to a cyber bully. Jennifer is a bit on the chunky side and some a-hole wrote her a nasty email saying she should get off the air. Her response is pretty awesome. Cyber bullying is a real problem that is growing every day. Kids all across the country are being teased and bullied online. It's tragically lead to a few suicides. We at Egotastic! condemn any kind of bullying, cyber or otherwise. As a fat nerdy kid myself, I was picked on a lot growing up. That's why I developed the sense of humor that lead me to be a writer here at Egotastic! This incident got me thinking about the kind of bullying I had to put up with when I was a kid. There was no Internet or fake identity to hide behind in those days. If you wanted to bully someone, you did it face-to-face. While all kinds of bullying are awful, I think cyber bullies in particular are a bunch of pussies. If you are going to pick on someone have the balls to do it like Billy Zabka in The Karate Kid.

If there is a Platonic form of the bully, it is Johnny Lawrence from The Karate Kid as played by master thespian Billy Zabka. In the film, he and his Cobra-Kai buddies make Ralph Machio's life a living hell for being a poor and from Newark. They beat him up, taunted him, pulled pranks on him, and chased him while wearing skeleton costumes. Today's bullies hide behind their laptop and smartphone screens. Any old mean kid can post nasty comments on someone's Facebook page or forward embarrassing pictures via Twitter. Not only are you a bully but you are also a coward. If you really want to bully someone, step up and do it to their faces. Be like Zabka and my childhood bullies and give wedgies, purple nurples, and sweep their legs. But don't worry nerds, fatties, and gay kids. Bullies usually end up having sad and pathetic lives. My childhood bully got a girl pregnant at 17 and has worked at Chili's for the last 15 years. Karma is a bitch.