Welcome To Florida, We Have Leprous Armadillos

Florida is an interesting place. As a Cuban-American I naturally have a lot of relatives there and have spent a great deal of time observing the native Floridian in his natural habitat. Of course, Miami isn't indicative of the rich tapestry of humanity that you can find in central and northern Florida. No, that place is special. I once had a guy in a confederate flag t-shirt ask my cousin and I, "Y'all boys ain't from around here, is ya?" That store had an entire wall of beef jerky. Sure, it's easy to make fun of the shenanigans that these wacky folks in Florida get up to. But it isn't just the people who can give you diseases you can't give back. Florida armadillos are riddled with leprosy. Yeah, leprosy like in the Bible.

Apparently, some armadillos just have leprosy for some reason and they can pass it on to humans. There have already been 9 cases in Florida because it seems that the armadillos are lashing out at local Floridians and giving them friggin' leprosy. Though the days of being sent to die in a leper colony are in the past, you still don't want to get it. So, Floridians, don't kiss an armadillo, even on a bet. Don't put an empty beer can or sunglasses on a dead armadillo by the side of the road. Just don't do it.