So I Says to Mable, I Says…

Jack Osbourne gets a date. Of course, it's a lunch date, so it really doesn't count. (HollywoodTuna)

Mariah Carey is embarrasing. (A Socialite's Life)

George Clooney and Matt Damon like to flirt with each other. I think there's a word for that, but I can't quite remember. (IDLYITW)

Great! Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie return for more "Simple Life." Well, at least they really are simple. (Perez Hilton)

Can somebody send me copies of this Laguna Beach thing. I don't get MTV anymore, so I have no idea who Kristen Cavallari is. (Just Jared)

Really cruel (and therefor funny) celebrity post cards. (CityRag)

Ziyi Zhang is Chinese. "Memoirs of a Geisha" is about the Japanese. Who woulda thunk there'd be an issue. (Yeeeah!)

Nick Lachey is getting his own sitcom. Fantastic! (Popsugar)

Michael Jackson isn't just a creepy pedophile. He's also a racist. (Hollywood Rag)