Burger King’s New Chicken Rings Are Terrifying

I'm not really a food snob. I've eaten plenty of fast food in my day. I try to eat better now that I'm older, but I do occasionally indulge in some fast food. But I like when I eat something that I can identify it as food and am pretty clear on how it was made. Burger King began to redefine what chicken is with their Chicken Fries which came out again in 2014. Chicken does not come in cylindrical tubes, but they made it happen somehow. But now Burger King has turned their chicken into rings. Yeah, like an onion ring but made out of chicken. Burger King's Chicken Fires Rings is all "white meat chicken" breaded and fried in the shape of a ring. And much like the One Ring it will lead to your doom. I'm not sure that there was really a call for this. I can't imagine that Burger King held focus groups in which people said, "These chicken fries are great and all, but can you shape it into a hoop?"

I've never understood the novelty of food being forced into weird shapes. Maybe it's because when I was a kid they didn't have those chicken nuggets in the shapes of dinosaurs or whatever. In the 80's chicken nuggets came in weird amoeba shapes and that was it. That's the way God intended the chicken nugget to be.