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bill-swift - February 20, 2013
It's often lamented that humanity itself is the most balls-out crazy, demented species on Earth. We do have a penchant for such horrors as warfare, drive-by shootings, kicking our own planet in its astronomical gonads with the Jackboot of Pollution, encouraging Justin ‘effing Bieber and producing low fat variations of popular foodstuffs that purport to taste ‘just as good' as the original when every bastard knows damn well that they're shit and such claims are ghastly, lie-flavored lies with a side order of lies and copious quantities of extra lies sauce.
As Ghandi himself (did very much not) once proclaim, "Everyoneis an asshole."
Still, there is always one pertinent factor in mankind's favor: our penises have only one head. This, as you'll all surely attest, is probably the optimum number, where dudely genitalia is concerned. One particular beast gives no shits about such pernickety logic, and instead boasts something "like an inflated rubber glove... this extraordinary member has four distinct heads and looks like a stumpy hand with no thumb waving at me. Or some sort of weird sea anemone." (Thanks for the nightmares, huffingtonpost.com!).
As a charming, deformed-dick-centric intellectual exercise, then, venture a guess as to which animal this might be. Then hit the gallery for the answer, plus more disconcerting oddities than you could shake your anatomically-sensible wang at.
Join us next week for more horrors from the animal kingdom.
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