Mastermind Of The Day: Joshua Hare – Just The Tip

In honor of the wayward criminals of the comedy, Masterminds, in theaters September 30, we're taking a look at some of our world's most inept, clumsy, and dumb-ass criminals.

One of the most shocking things about drug smuggling is the ingenious ways that the cartels have figured out how to transport the product. Since the beginning of the drug trade people have swallowed baggies full of cocaine and heroin and then poop it out when they get to the destination. When you think about it, a lot of the cocaine your parent's snorted in the 70's was probably defecated out of some Colombian drug mule. But using one's body to hide dope was taken to a new level by British criminal Joshua Hare. He was spotted by police wandering around naked and disoriented...you know, like you do. When they searched 'ol Josh that's when they found 7 ounces of cocaine. No, it wasn't in his butt. That would be too easy. Joshua had hidden the coke in the foreskin of his penis.

Having been circumcised myself when I was a baby I don't fully understand how you could hide that much cocaine in the foreskin of the penis. 7 ounces seems like a lot for such a limited space. No wonder he was running around naked and was acting like a lunatic. 

See the Masterminds trailer.