2017 Miss USA Is Nearly Upon Us, Here’s the Bikini Clad Contestants

Who can remember all the names of these pageants? I only remember all the hot bodied and faces with sashes of states around their fun parts. I think Miss USA is the one our President used to own. It's kind of odd that grown women compete in beauty pageants. Odd, but also wonderful.

This year's Miss USA pageant takes place in but a week, but the loveliest of ladies from all fifty are baring their wares in advanced promotion of the throwback tradition. Check out a heaping handful or three of the young women hoping to represent our nation honorably in the Miss Universe pageant, which is hardly honorable, and also a big misnomer in naming, but the winner of that event certainly has gone on to great and wonderful things in the area of modeling, acting, and marrying super rich guys with yachts. Damn you, super rich guys with yachts.

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