2011 Grammy Awards Sextastic Celebrities Give Me Treble In My Loins

Okay, so I admit, I fell asleep halfway through this year's Grammy Awards. Well, technically, half way through the first five minutes of the Grammy's. Actually, to be perfectly honest, I turned it off when Lady Gaga arrived in an egg. Call me old-fashioned, but back in my day, when a girl was unattractive, she just wore a ball-cap low over her head and showed off her cleavage. Still, this is my job (I mean, as much as my fantasy life leads me to believe I am gainfully employed), so I tuned on the DVR and did a run-through in Egotastic! motion. Not bad really on the sexy celebrity side this year. Always hit or miss at the Grammy's. And, for me, the surprise hit of the night was definitely Jennifer Hudson. Wow. Girl lost several stone of potatoes and gained my hardcore lust in the process. Welcome to Egotastic!, Jennifer, and, bravo.

Along with Jennifer Hudson, other standout sextastic for me included Selena Gomez (so hot without her midget in tow), Heidi Klum (whose contribution to the music world is banging Seal), Paz Vega (for that barely there dress), Kim Kardashian's butt (injected with fat culled from dead baby seals), Katy Cocktease (big boobs never hurt, always help), Rihanna (something about that body and her see-through dresses), and Ciara (who is now front and center in my dominatrix dreams). Enjoy.

And, while I once again received zero invitations this year to any Grammy parties (somebody is obviously stealing my mail), I'd be remiss if I didn't point out for your ogling pleasure the dress worn by Miley Cyrus at the Clive Davis' Grammy Pre-Party. While I do think it ought be considered a crime against nature to hand Miley Cyrus a working microphone, I will say this, she dolls up perty. And in this tight little number, well, you must enlarge to check out her cleavage compression.

Photo credit: INF Photo / bauergriffinonline.com / Splash News