I don't usually blog about my adventures in TV-watching, because, well, I watch a lot of TV. I mean A LOT! And also because usually TV is good, sometimes it's crap, but most of the time, it doesn't really hit that super-awesome spot that makes you just want to blog your heart out about it. But this week, there was some serious super-awesomeness that came in the form of Smallville's 100th Epidode. And here's my Egotastic! recap of every awesome moment of this super-awesome episode.
Which you can read after the jump, cuz it's long, but really good, so read it. And in case you didn't figure it out already, massive spoilers follow, so read at your own risk, but read it, cuz it's really good.
And, as a limited experiment, comments have been opened for this post, so you're free to write what you like.
Wow! Oh. My. God! This 100th episode of Smallville was hands down, one of the best in the series. Simply amazing. But enough with the hyperbole (for now), lets get to the matter at hand.
So we start off with Clark having decided to tell Lana his big ol' secret. "Hey baby, I'm Superman... How you doin'!?" Okay, it wasn't quite like that. It was more like, "check out my crazy awesome ice palace. By the way, I'm an alien from another planet, and I can jump real high." So Lana's totally freaking out at this point, as am I, (like the 14-year-old girl I am) and then Clark crushes a piece of coal into a freaking diamond just like he did in Superman III, and they he asks Lana to marry him! Oh. My. God! Somebody Saaaave Meeee.... (that's the theme song for all you non-Smallville-watchers, btw.)
So Clark Kent has told Lana Lane his secret, asked her to marry him, but meanwhile, the show-writers are throwing around all these possible hints of who is gonna die in this episode. Oh, did I forget to mention that? Yeah, finally, someone Clark loves is gonna get dead. I've been totally sure that it was gonna be Jonathan Kent, because any self respecting Superman fan knows that daddy Kent bites it from a heart attack that pretty much solidifies Clark's decision to eventually become the man who is super. However, in the new comic books, (or the books since 1985) they kinda forgot about that whole story line, and Jonathan Kent is still very much alive, so it wasn't quite a lock that Johnny boy's heart would explode in his chest. They also played around a bit by having Lois Lane precariously teetering on a stool, trying to get some cookies out from a high shelf. She nearly falls, but Lana saves her ass (and a nice ass it is).
Then, right before the second commercial break, we get the delayed gratification of Lana accepting Clark's proposal. And, as anyone who has studied television at the university level (as I have - I told you I watch a lot of TV) knows, when you've milked the tension of denying a character what they want the most, then they finally get that thing, the only dramatic move left to take is to rip it out of their hands before they've even had a chance to enjoy it. Which means Lana is about to get seriously killed off!
But not until after Jonathan Kent is elected Senator of Kansas, beating Lex Luthor to the punch, and futher sending Mr. Clean down that spiral to the land of the super-villains. Of course, Lana, being the total sweetheart that she is, goes to console a drunken Lex, and what does he do? He gets all jealous that Clark and Lana are getting hitched, and accuses Lana of hiding Clark's big secret, which she totally is. Lana drives off at unsafe speeds to warn Clark, with Lex in hot pursuit. But as Lex pulls alongside Lana's SUV to try and talk to her, she stops paying attention to the road when SLAM!!!! her truck gets totally creamed by a school bus, fliping it over several times (you know how those SUVs have terrible problems with their center of gravity being too high), and killing the crap out of Lana. Oh. My. God!
With Lana dead, because of Clark's decision to disobey the disembodied voice of his dead Kryptonian father, Jor-El, what else can Kal-El do but beg his super-dad to bring Lana back from the dead. One might think "hey man, you knew the price of your choices, so suck it up," but the episode is only half-way through, so there's got to be more. And indeed there is. Jor-El gives Clark another wicked-cool Krypto-crystal that magically (or super-scientifically) sends clark back to the beginning of the episode, where instead of telling Lana his secret, like he did the first time, he clams up, not wishing to set in motion the events that lead to Lana's death. Naturally, Lana has had enough of Clark and his sudden bouts of "hey look over there" style avoidance routines, and gives him the "I need a break" line made famous by Ross and Rachel.
So, Lana is ostensibly safe at this point, but Clark wants to make sure, so he asks Chloe to keep an eye on Lana, after explaining his wonderous jump back through time. A great joke at this point comes when Chloe asks how he managed that: "Did you spin around the world's axis, or something?" A very nice reference to the original Superman film, of course.
So who's gonna die? At this point, it's all up in the air. Clark find Lois unconscious on the floor of her apartment, surrounded by water and a live toaster. See, this time around, Lana didn't come by to save Lois from falling over, and she must have hit the ground hard. It all happened off screen this time round, though, so that part felt a bit messy. But Clark got there in time, so it's not Lois who dies. And, seriously, if you thought she would die, well then that would change a whole lot in the rest of the Superman storyline, wouldn't it? Good job genius!
That pretty much brings us back to Jonathan Kent, and his supposed on-coming heart attack (which the show-writers did actually work into the story a season, or two back). But not until Clark has to run off and save Lana one more time. You see, Lana being Lana, she still goes over to console the defeated Lex Luthor, but when she tells him that she and Clark broke up, the drunk, and dumb, Lex takes his shot and totally kisses Lana. Awkward much!? Dude, at least wait 'till she's had rebound fling, or something. You don't kiss her the second you find out she's single. That's a rookie move. Anyway, Lana is once again being chased by Lex, but since Clark knows about the impending Bus-on-SUV metal pounding, he does his super thing and stops the bus just in time.
Which now really brings us back to Jonathan Kent, who has left his election-win party to meet the nefarious Lionel Luthor to discuss the matter of "the election moneys" (to be said in the voice of Fat Tony from The Simpsons). Pa Kent, though, hating Pa Luthor as he does, finally lets loose, and knocks Lionel on his ass for insinuating that the Senator would now be in the pocket of Lionel's special interests. All this stress, however, has taken it's toll on Jonathan's ticker, and as he exists the barn, and Clark and Martha arrive home from the party, Jonathan collapses in their arms, and dies... OH. MY. GOD!!!
Seriously, though, this episode was so totally super-awesome, that it's hard to put into words. Which I just did, but you know what I mean. It was a shining moment in the Superman franchise, and did once more, what Smallville has continued to do since it's first airing five years ago. Namely, put an emotional backdrop behind the world of Superman to come. All the characters' motivations for becoming their future selves has been more-or-less cemented by this point. Lex's impending full-on evilness is firmly rooted in his not being loved. By his father, by his friend, by his dream girl. He is consistently seeking love, but more so, control over what he cannot have. Likewise, Clark's motivation for keeping his secret, and needing to save people's lives is also based on his lack of control. His inability to save his father, or protect the ones he loves from their ultimate end is his greatest fear. His guilt is what will drive him to become the greatest hero in the world.
Check out TheWB.com for more on the 100th episode of Smallville.