Bikinis Posts:

Ai Shinozaki for the Japanese Celebrity Glamour Model Win

Okay, I can't tell you how many letters we get pleading with us for more coverage of Asian celebrities and we usually write back a kind, thoughtful response about the loose mother and questionable heritage of the reader, because we're more nasty than we are responsive. We simply don't cover much of the Asian celebrity market, the TV or films or magazines, but when we do receive a copy of Young Animal magazine featuring both manga and hot girls, it's not like we're not going to peruse it.

The  20-year old Ai Shinozaki has something of a cult following over in Japan, a groovy big-loaved bit of hotness who sings and models and puts out lots of media of herself, well, singing, and modeling, and all-around just looking sweet and hot, without showing the full monty. But the half monty is pretty damn hot. Take a look at these photos of Ai from the current edition of Young Animal magazine and see if you too think it might be time for a little sextastic Asian-invasion on Egotastic! Enjoy.

Kate Upton Bikini Photoshoot Behind the Scenes Hot Bodied Awesomeness (VIDEO)

Is There Anybody Hotter On The Planet At This Moment?

(When I get a chance to sit down with Maxim, I'm going to ask them to name 38 hotter women this year than Kate Upton. I mean, I know they listed 38 of them in their magazine, but I want them to say it out loud, with a straight face.)

Remember the supremely hot Beach Bunny Swimswear 'Bronze' Bikini photoshoot of Kate Upton we shared with you a few days ago -- I mean, given that it's forever tattooed on your libido matter, you probably do remember. Well, now, here's the behind the scenes video from the photoshoot, and it is equally amazing.

I wish I had grown up to be hottie model video director Yu Tsai instead of just You Suck, you know, as my dad used to yell at me when he watched my Little League games. Enjoy.

Audrina Patridge Bikini Pictures Candidly Display a Hot Girl In Her Bikini Prime

If we've said it once, we've said it exactly seventeen times before, one thing you can not take away from Audrina Patridge is her smoking hot bikini body, which has been on display much of the past month down Mexico ways, where we often plant our super secret grade school aged spies with cameras disguised as burros.

And, it has worked once again, with a delicious look at the wet and toned barely bikini clad body of this former reality star, turned, well, reality star, but mostly just a hot chick in a bikini at this point. And that's plenty fine. Enjoy.

Michelle Rodriguez Bikini Photos Take a Dip in Dripping Goodness At Eden Roc Hotel

I've got to get me to this Eden Roc hotel in Cannes during the film festival one year; it's where all the hot celebrities stay or hang out or play or just head out to their yachts. Hopefully, they book rooms by the hour, I think I could afford to stay for a couple. But it'd be worth it, to first-hand ogle the likes of Michelle Rodriguez who shows up every year to show off in her bikinis.

Granted, every time we see Michelle Rodriguez she has that sort of angry disappointed look that I became all too familiar with with basically every single teacher I ever had in my life, but I never wanted to leer most of those ladies in dripping wet bikinis coming out of the Mediterranean. Enjoy.

Ashley Olsen Bikini Pictures Are Unexpectedly Pretty Hot

Why unexpectedly? Well, for one, we never really see the Olsen twins out and about much anymore, let alone not wearing eighteen layers of fur like a conquering Nordic king addressing his minions, plus all those rumors of near-death anorexia and such, well, you just don't expect to find a solo Olsen twin, in this case Ashley Olsen, frolicking about the beach in Hawaii in a skimpy little bikini.

You don't expect to see it, but you can rejoice when you do. Feel free to show your emotions as you take a quick peek at the frontside and dumpside body of the former Full House baby-star turned billionaire pimpstress of tween girl products. Not too shabby if I do say so myself. If she were a girl swimming in college debt, I might think twice, but as a rich semi-literate dizygotic twin, I'd be sunscreening her til the cows come home. Enjoy.

Kate Upton Beach Bunny Bronze Bikini Collection for Precious Mammary Perfection

Kate Upton turns bikinis into something altogether on a different plane of hotness.

If I were hired to be marketing director at one of these swimwear companies, I'd just keep repeating, 'Let's hire Kate Upton to model our bikinis' over and over again until somebody listened, it happened, sales shot through the roof, and I won the marketing department trophy and the two free tickets to Disneyland. Because it's that simple.

Kate Upton pimps the bodily shizz out of the Beach Bunny bronze swimwear collection using her own bodily assets, which are beyond compare, and I'm sure has millions of women out there imagining themselves looking like Kate if they buy the bikini. Sometimes it's hard to be a woman. Enjoy.
Read More » »

Daisy Fuentes, A Blast from the Past Showing Off Her Asstastic

Wow, where have all the years gone, like sands through the hourglass, these are the hotties of our lives.

If you're old enough to remember a time when MTV actually played music, then you well remember first Latina VJ, Daisy Fuentes, and all that she meant to your faptastic alone times. Now at 45, the sultry Cubana is still making a worthy public exhibition in a monokini on the beaches of Miami. I'm not even sure who the bastard non-male designer of the monokini is, but I kind of don't like that person, despite the fact that while robbing us of tummy views, I suppose it gives enough confidence to sexy mature women like Daisy Fuentes to show off more on the beach than just a traditional swimsuit.

Now, if you don't mind, I'm getting my Wilson Phillips CDs out and reliving a literal Daisy Fuentes blast from the past while ogling these photos. Enjoy.