Up front let me say, I have no idea who half of the kid-land starlets of today are exactly. It's not exactly as if I'm perusing Nick shows during 'tween hour to get in solid chunks of laugh-track backed junior high comedies. However, my young concubine, the delightful Inez P. Minge, spends most of her days eating bulk licorice and watching Victorious, etc, so I got a bit of the insider's scoop.
At this weekend's Kids' Choice Awards Show, where essentially 12-year old girls pass judgement on what constitutes talent, the usual cast of celebrity characters made their marquee mark on the red carpet and on the stage, and, let's be honest, if 12-year old girls ran the world, we'd be in a shitload of trouble.
Still, the gathering was call to bring together a bunch of Hollywood hotties, young, and a bit older, all dressed in G-rated frocks that showed a lot of leg, but no cleavage, like lip gloss ad girls, cute, but without a hint of sexuality. Included among them were Katy Cocktease, whose team of publicists insist that she's happy, so she must be, Selena Gomez, who can't ever not look hot, Halston Sage, some young sextastic blonde with a made-up name form the Nick stable (and one of the few above 18 in the lineup, so we can actually officially call her 'hot), Ariana Grande, Heidi Klum, Victoria Justice, Ashley Tisdale, and a bevy of other farm system young model-actress types bursting at the teen seems to breakout into famous starlets. A fine mix of innocent with 'just discovered their naughty side' made for a fun evening. Enjoy.
Egotastic
Tulisa Contostavlos Named FHM’s Sexiest Woman of the Year (But Jessica-Jane Clement Sideboob Wins Our Hearts)
I'll say this for FHM's annual 100 Sexiest Women of the Year announcements -- they're never predictable. Inherently, all 'tops' lists are flawed by the Heisenberg Principle, if not the principle that democratic voting kind of sucks, for as Churchill said, to paraphrase, to understand the shortcomings of democracy, spend five minutes talking to the average voter (check it out, Heisenberg and Churchill in the same Egotastic! post -- you should get school credit for this!).
FHM Top 10 (of 100) Sexiest Women Winners:
Anyhow, the point is, our readers are amazingly awesome thoughtful critics of the sextastic, but FHM's, well, we love them like our bastard brothers we only learn we had at way too late an age, but last year they included Lady Gaga in their hottest list and this year, Tulisa Contostavlos takes top honors. Don't get me wrong, I'd empty every shekel in my measly bank account to be the next guy called up for the Contostavlos oral-fetish sex tape, she's a good looking young rapping kind of woman, but tutto di tutti hottest?
Well, you be the judge. As for us, we thought the likes of Jessica-Jane Clement and her sideboob, Helen Flanagan and her big boobtastic, and Georgia Salpa and her city-sized cleavage all kind of stole the actual show. Enjoy.
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