Lock Her Up and Throw Away the Key, Then Throw Away the Jail, Too

Nicole Richie is afraid of going to prison. (PopSugar)

Nobody cares about those former "Top Models." Not even Tyra Banks. (Hollywood Tuna)

Britney Spears looks retarded, but at least she remembered to her underwear. (Pink is the New Blog)

Norbit, starring Eddie Murphy, Eddie Murphy, Eddie Murphy, Eddie Murphy, Eddie Murphy, Eddie Murphy, Eddie Murphy and Eddie Murphy. (CollegeHumor)

Come on, Zach Braff. You can do much better than Drew Barrymore. (DListed)

Britney Spears got dumped. (IDLYTIW)

Nelly Furtado tries out acting on CSI. (Just Jared)

Kate Beckensale will be shooting her new movie in my hometown! (Popoholic)

Will Smith and Barak Obama are not the same person. (A Socialite's Life)

Happy Valentines from Donald Trump. (CityRag)

Teri Hatcher says she never had Botox. (Hollywood Rag)

I totally don't need to hear Cisco Adler talking about his giant balls. (Defamer)

Britney Spears is not a fan of . (Jossip)

Uh oh. Looks like that Reese Witherspoon chin is genetic. (Goldenfiddle)

Ryan Phillippe is not dating an 18-year-old hottie. Too bad for him. (CelebNewsWire)

Video Bonus:

Check out this guy who proposed to his girlfriend on national television in a commercial during Veronica Mars.