Shauna Sand

Battle Skanky Gourds: Courtney Stodden vs. Shauna Sand at the Pumpkin Patch

November 1, 2011 @ 8:34 am

Wow, it really was like watching Obi Wan and Luke this weekend at the pumpkin patch, where half of Hollywood's D-list came to pick their autumnal orange for the cameras, and this year, even the ever-questionably dressed Shauna Sand found some competition in the corrupting kids at the park when what would seem to be her young new apprentice, Courtney Stodden, showed up to flash half her oddly-mature teen body to the G for Gourd rated audience at the family fun center.

Shauna Sand was kidding herself if she thought a skin-tight white dress hugging her boobtastic form would win the day, so she artfully threw in a front bending upskirt flash for the dads at the patch, just to remind them who owns the title of raunchiest urban farm visitor each year. But do not count out the 17-going-on-XXX Courtney Stodden who wants to be famous so badly, she can taste it (and probably often has), baring all kinds of country muffin skin.

Trick or Trick? Enjoy.

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The Power of Shauna Sand Boobtastic Compels You

November 1, 2011 @ 8:32 am

Let me be the first to point out that Shauna Sand is a fame whore of the highest order, even noteworthy in Hollywood circles. Let's also mutually acknowledge that an enormous sunburst could superheat the earth, melt the very sand beneath her feet into glass, and 92% of Shauna Sand would still remain completely intact. Her bikini is made of more organic material than you will find in what it covers, and yet...

... I can't stop looking at Shauna Sand in these bikini pictures from Miami the past couple of days. It's like her android body compels my mind in ways I haven't experienced since first discovering how to unscramble the porn on our cable television system years ago as a kid. I think it's some uncharted branch of the nervous system that travels direct from the eyeballs to the lowballs without any interpretation by the brain.

I am rendered helpless.

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Karissa Shannon and Shauna Sand Battle It Out in Epic Skanky Food Fest

November 1, 2011 @ 8:26 am

I find myself more and more intrigued by these two blonde bumshells Playmates and the depths to which they dive to find that hidden treasure called publicity.

Karissa Shannon has herself a theme. That theme seems to be sex. Constant sex. Mostly with Pete from Smallville, but also the occasional pumpkin or ice cream cone spill. Oops, did I spill white cream on my chest again. SJ3! Help! (Have you seen the Karissa Shannon sex tape yet? Long form trailer coming soon.)

Shauna Sand has a unique motif: be as sexually provocative and crude as possible in front of her young daughter. It's a hook. Seen here dribbling ketchup onto her tongue in what can only be described as an egregious violation of County Health Code violations, Shauna Sand imparts upon her daughter generational wisdom something well-short of the modern feminist agenda.

Am I but a pawn in the gross fame-hogging of these big-boobed Playboy veterans? Oh, hell yeah I am. I just can't stop. Not quite yet. Enjoy.

Photo credit: pacificcoastnewsonline.com

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Shauna Sand Puts on Frightening Demonstration at Pumpkin Patch

November 1, 2011 @ 8:26 am

You know I refrain from anything to do with the walking cheese spread known as Shauna Sand. Oh, sure, occasionally I'll drop an anonymous call into Child Protective Services to see if they'll extricate her daughter before the window of meaningful re-programming closes, but, outside of that, I limit my involvement to that once or twice a year when Shauna Sand does something so profoundly inglorious, it deserves mention.

Imagine the surprise of parents and kids alike, shopping for pumpkins for their annual Halloween tidings, whence the innocents come upon the pumpkin whore, Shauna Sand, in a miniskirt and heels, slowly seducing the business end of a relished weenie into her lingual orifice. There's no ghost or goblin story so horrifying as to prepare a child's mind eye for this level of skankadelic assault. Forget a normal night light, these kids are going to demand a blue light and bleach next to their beds. Enter Sand-cans.

Update: Oh, could it get worse? It has. Mommy, why is that two-bit hooker flashing her panties at the pumpkin patch?

Photo credit: pacificcoastnewsonline.com/ Fame

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Shauna Sand Nipple Slip in Front of Her Kid

 
November 1, 2011 @ 8:23 am

I don't know where to begin describing what's wrong with these Shauna Sand nipple slip pictures. I guess the first thing is that every Shauna Sand nipple slip is absolutely disgusting, since her nipples are so clearly sewn on. And badly sewn on, too. How that guy could make a sex tape with her is behind me, as my dad would say. Then there's the fact that her daughter is in the car right next to her, having to experience the whole thing at point blank range. That can't be healthy. There's no way that kid is turning out okay. And its a real shame, but in all likelyhood, that stunning little girl will one day end up a mutilated, stripper-heel wearing fame whore, just like her mom. Won't that be nice.

Photo credit: pacificcoastnewsonline.com

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Shauna Sand Sex Tape is a Clear Publicity Stunt

 
November 1, 2011 @ 8:23 am

Today, TMZ is reporting that Vivid (the porn guys - as if you didn't know) are releasing a Shauna Sand sex tape, but that Shauna is sicking her lawyers on the company claiming that Vivid doesn't have her permission to release the tape, which she admits is actually just one of many sex tapes she has made with her current boyfriend.

"Yes I did make a sex tape with my boyfriend earlier this year. In fact I've made several sex tapes, but I certainly didn't sign off on this and Vivid has no right to put it out. I am trying to get a hold of my attorney now."

Vivid had this response:

"We were approached by a third party, who brought us footage of Shauna having sex with her current boyfriend and we were immediately interested in acquiring it ... We're comfortable with our legal position in releasing this footage."

Okay, so first of all, she called TMZ before she called her lawyer. Um, really? Second, and this is the kicker, the footage from this sex tape has better production value than most real pornos. In fact, there are stills from the video which could only have been taken by a third person, involving multiple camera set-ups. Most likely the person who's selling the tape to Vivid. Add to that the professionally shot photos taken in the same location, and I smell a publicity stunt. Now, call me crazy, but when you ask someone else to professionally film and photograph you having sex with your boyfriend, I'm pretty sure that's straight up porn, and to put it bluntly, you're fucked.

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Shauna Sand in a Bikini on a Segway

November 1, 2011 @ 8:22 am

How can you tell someone's an attention whore? Well, after seeing Shauna Sand in a bikini, riding a Segway, wearing stripper heels, it's pretty easy. Talk about your desperate attempt at getting noticed. Of course, this is a somewhat impressive sight. After all, it's very difficult to get those Barbie dolls to stand up straight without falling over.

Photo credit: Splash News

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