Scarlett Johansson is Maybe, Possibly, Hopefully Single

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Pretty much 90% of the celebrity gossip that gets reported is crap. Shocking, I know. If you honestly asked me what's true, and what isn't, I really wouldn't be able to tell you. Partly because I don't care, but mostly because no one really knows what the hell they're talking about.

For instance, Page Six is reporting that Scarlett Johansson and Josh Hartnett are fighting everyday, and are on the verge of breaking up. They also say that Josh might be in New Zealand, but they're not quite sure.

Scarlett Johansson may soon be seeking comfort from her old pal Woody Allen. Sources tell Page Six the "Black Dahlia" star and her longtime boyfriend and co-star, Josh Hartnett, are close to calling it quits. "They are on the rocks," said one source. "Scarlett is always mad at him, and they are always arguing." Another insider says Hartnett hasn't been in the United States in weeks - presumably he's shooting "30 Days of Night" in New Zealand. Reps for Johansson and Hartnett did not return calls.

OMG!!! Josh Hartnett is working on a movie in New Zealand! They must be breaking up!

Listen, I want Scarlett Johansson to be single as much as the next guy, but this one is just annoying. Not only do the "sources" sound like they don't have a fucking clue about what they're saying, neither does the "journalist."

You can't just go and get people's hopes up like that. It's just not right.