Paris Hilton Looks Pregnant, Carries Apocalypse In Her Womb

12:22 PM, Filed under: Home \ Celebrities \ Paris Hilton

I don't know if it's the dress, the light, the ridiculous way she stands, or if she's wearing some kind of fake baby bump to get attention, but Paris Hilton looks pregnant, and if that's the case, I'm going to shoot myself. Better yet, I'm going to shoot her. Paris Hilton is not allowed to reproduce. It would be a crime against Humanity. In the future, Shiloh and the Brangelina Twins would have to use their superpowers to rid the world of the evil that would be Paris Hilton's hellspawn.

Photo credit: WENN

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2008 MTV Movie Awards Mega Picture Post

01:37 AM, Filed under: Home \ Celebrities \ Paris Hilton

I didn't even know the 2008 MTV Movie Awards were on last night, but it wouldn't have made a difference, since I don't get MTV. But don't worry if you missed it, because MTV will be replaying the show all summer. Doesn't that make you feel better? I didn't think so. Anyway, here are all the hot young celebrities who showed up to promote their latest movie, or album, or whatever, by wearing short skirts, and putting on too much makeup, and winning meaningless awards.

Attendees include: Anne Hathaway, Audrina Patridge, Charlize Theron, Ellen Page, Emma Stone, Heidi Montag, Katharine McPhee, Kristen Stewart, Lauren Conrad, Lindsay Lohan, Liv Tyler, Meagan Good, Megan Fox, Paris Hilton, Rumer Willis, Tila Tequila, and Whitney Port. You know, the big stars.

Click here to see all the 2008 MTV Movie Awards pictures

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Paris Hilton Falls on Her Face!

12:21 PM, Filed under: Home \ Celebrities \ Paris Hilton

There are few moments in life as thoroughly fulfilling as watching someone you hate get what's coming to them, and watching Paris Hilton fall on her face has got to be one of the most enjoyable things I've ever seen. Cruel? Yes. Deservedly so? Hell yes!

Paris was in Prague this weekend, and while trying to run from the paparazzi, the ever-coordinated Hilton fell flat on her face, and busted her chin. Gee, you'd think she'd have learned better control over those lanky appendages of her by now.

Embarrassed, Paris once again tried to get away from the paparazzi, but it was no use. Later on, her douchetastic boyfriend, Benji Madden came out to plea with the paparazzi to be nice. We'll let you guess how that went.

Watch the Video:

Paris Hilton Falls on her Face

Lots more fun pictures of Paris Hilton falling on her face after the jump.

Photo credit: Fame / WENN

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Paris Hilton Topless and Bikini Pictures from 944 Magazine

10:45 AM, Filed under: Home \ Celebrities \ Paris Hilton

Use enough Photoshop, and anyone can look decent. Even Paris Hilton, it would seem. Put a picture of Paris Hilton topless on the cover of your magazine, and you might actually sell a few copies. Though I wouldn't bet on it. Anyway, I've never heard of 944 magazine, and I wish I never heard of Paris Hilton, so it seems like they're a perfect match. At least it's Paris Hilton in a bikini (or is that her underwear?), and not acting like a drunk slut at some Vegas party. See? She can act.

Also, is Paris Hilton doing the pee-pee dance, or what?

Link: Paris Hilton Topless and Bikini Pictures from 944 Magazine

Paris Hilton is a Pussycat Skank

10:04 AM, Filed under: Home \ Celebrities \ Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton celebrated her birthday on Sunday by getting even skankier than usual. She got skanked up in the very skanky Pussycat Dolls outfit, and gyrated about awkwardly for the crowd that probably wished she wouldn't.

Of course, Paris isn't the first girl we've seen take on the Pussycat Dolls image, but when Scarlett Johansson was a Pussycat Doll, it was actually sexy. Obviously, the same cannot be said about Paris.

More pictures of Paris making the Pussycat Dolls looks skankier than ever after the jump.

Photo credit: Splash

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Paris Hilton's Nipples Nearly Pop Out

02:46 PM, Filed under: Home \ Celebrities \ Paris Hilton

I think Paris Hilton is confused. Or, should I say, more confused than usual. I'm not sure she's aware of it, but that's a microphone she's holding. Of course, from the way she's writhing around, feeling her self up, and very nearly exposing her nipples, she probably thinks it's a dildo.

Then again, I'm pretty sure Paris Hilton wishes everything was a dildo.

Photo credit: INF Photo

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Paris Hilton and Elisha Cuthbert's Lesbian Make-Out

01:27 AM, Filed under: Home \ Celebrities \ Paris Hilton

According to Us Magazine, Paris Hilton and Elisha Cuthbert were seen making out at a New York nightclub. Now, I knew Paris Hilton was a total skank, but who knew Elisha Cuthbert was a lesbian? Actually, that kind of makes sense. Have you seen her new haircut?

Paris Hilton and actress Elisha Cuthbert were "all over each other and making out" at New York's Tenjune club Tuesday night, a source tells Usmagazine.com.

"Who knew?" says the source of the unlikely pairing.

Hilton, 26, and Cuthbert, 25, didn't arrive at Tenjune together. Hilton was there for a birthday party and was seen dancing on banquets. "It's Paris," says the source. "She loves putting on a show."

Okay, I'm not sure whether to be totally repulsed by this story, or totally turned on. I mean the thought of Super-Hottie Elisha Cuthbert getting it on, girl-girl style, well that's pretty much the stuff male fantasies are made of. On the other hand, having Elisha being infected with Paris-ites is pretty nasty. Though I'm pretty sure if given the opportunity to get between Elisha Cuthbert and any other girl, I'd settle for Paris, and just make sure I've had all my shots.

Anyway, here are some recycled Paris Hilton and Elisha Cuthbert bikini pictures, because why not? There's a ton more after the jump because I don't feel like editing any out.

Photo credit: Splash

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Paris Hilton: Bikini Model for Skanks

10:05 AM, Filed under: Home \ Celebrities \ Paris Hilton

I really don't understand who's buying what Paris Hilton is selling, and I feel better about that, because I would never want to meet anyone who was dumb enough to think that acting, or dressing like Paris Hilton is in any way cool, sexy, or worth emulating.

What's even worse, though is that this Paris Hilton bikini shoot is even scarier, since it seems to be so close to her real life activities. I know it's common to have models looking like they are in the middle of some hot affair, but it's a different story when it's Paris Hilton. Frankly, this looks more like a documentary, than a modelling shoot (albeit a Hills style documentay).

Anyway, the people using Paris Hilton to sell their clothes are stupid. *COUGH* Fila *COUGH*. And the people wearing the clothes Paris Hilton is selling are even worse. I wonder if the Herpes is included free?

Lots more pictuers of Paris Hilton skanking it up in her bikini after the jump.

Photo credit: Splash

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Paris Hilton is Naked, Gold, Not Dead

10:35 AM, Filed under: Home \ Celebrities \ Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton has a new drink called Rich Prosecco. A) That's the worst name I've ever heard for a drink. Ever. 2) I would never drink anything from Paris Hilton. Ever. And I have a feeling most people would say the same. So obviously, in order to promote the stupid drink, we get Paris Hilton naked, painted in gold. Why gold? I don't know. It must have something to do with the dumb beverage. I guess it's effective marketting, though, since I'm talking about it, but I can still tell you I'm never going anywhere near that contaminated, stupidly named drink.

Oh, and one other thing. In the James Bond movie Goldfinger, that girl died after she was painted in gold. How come that didn't happen to Paris Hilton!?

Click the pic for a bigger version.

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Paris Hilton's New Lips are Hot

12:19 PM, Filed under: Home \ Celebrities \ Paris Hilton

I'm not joking when I say Paris Hilton is looking hotter than ever. That dazed, deer-in-the-headlights look, those ridiculously over-stuffed lips. So hot. So sexy. I don't care if she's covered in Herpes, I want her. I want Paris Hilton and her fat, stupid lips.

Oh wait, no I don't. The only way Paris Hilton's new lips would actually be sexy is if they were the result of a punch in the mouth, and not value-pack of collagen that she got on sale at Costco.

Paris also got into the wrong car after leaving Britney Spears' birthday party the other night, and the guy in the car tried to kiss her. Supposedly she freaked out and jumped out of the car, but he probably pushed her ass out. Ick.

Photo credit: Pacific Coast News

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