Lindsay Lohan to Meet her End in Iraq

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Well, the world may be without Lindsay Lohan sooner than we thought. And no, the likely cause of death won't be drugs, STDs, or a car crash. No, it looks like Lindsay Lohan will meet her end in Iraq, where she wants to go and "entertain" the troops, reports People magazine.

"I've been trying to go to Iraq with Hillary Clinton for so long," Lohan, 20, tells Elle magazine in its September issue, after she was asked if she had any big plans for next year. "Hillary was trying to work it out, but it seemed too dangerous."

She continues, "I wanted to do what Marilyn Monroe did (during the Korean War), when she went and just set up a stage and did a concert for the troops all by herself. It's so amazing seeing that one woman just going somewhere, this beautiful sex kitten, who's basically a pinup, which is what I've always aspired to be."

Even without Sen. Clinton, Lohan is confident she can handle an Iraq trip on her own. "I'm not afraid of going," she says. "My security guard is going to take me to a gun range when I get back to L.A., and I'm going to start taking shooting lessons."

Okay, so Lindsay Lohan wants to go to Iraq so she can be a "sex kitten pinup?" Is this girl retarded? Actually, that was a rhetorical question, we all know the answer to that. I think the shooting lessons are too much, however. No way should anyone ever give Lindsay Lohan a gun. Not to worry, though, it will never happen. Just like Lindsay's planned trip to Africa, it's all talk, designed to improve her image.

Of course, there's a big difference between how Lindsay's publicists want the public to perceive her, and how they actually do. But maybe, just maybe, this time is different. Maybe soon I can finally break my unhealthy addiction to Lindsay Lohan in the only way I know will be permanent.

And now, here are some pictures of Lindsay Lohan from said new issue of Elle magazine.