The big news today (actually yesterday) is that Lindsay Lohan has been "hospitalised," and had "surgery" to "remove" her "appendix." Oh wait, that actually happened. You can forget about all those quotes, sometimes the sarcasm is just on auto-pilot. Anyway, it's not that big a deal. TMZ is reporting that Lindsay was suffering from Appendicitis (hence the removal of her appendix), but I think there was another reason she was in the hospital: Kevin Federline.
Yes, The K-Fed, Fed-Ex, The Britney Sperminator himself did what anyone spurned by Britney Spears would do, and started hitting on Lindsay Lohan. According to US Weekly, Kevin text messaged Lindsay on December 22, not even a month after Britney dumped his (by text message, ironically enough), trying to set a time to meet up. Thankfully for Lindsay, it looks like her new-found supposed sobriety has spared her from being the next Federline Baby-Momma.
Kevin Federline doesn't waste time. On December 22, less than a month after ex Britney Spears partied with Lindsay Lohan, the aspiring rapper, 28, texted the actress, 20, suggesting, "We should hang out."
"She was totally grossed out," a Lohan pal tells Us. Says another, "She thought it was hilarious."
However, Federline didn't appreciate Lohan's "Why would I hang out with you?" reply. He fired back, calling her a "firecrotch."
Says the source, "She couldn't believe he was so pathetic. She doesn't want him using her to make Britney jealous."
Now, I'm no medical expert, but I'm pretty sure K-Fed has the power to transmit a venerial disease via text message. In fact, I think just being in the same area code with him means you're at risk. Sure it might be "Appendicitis," but it's more likely the delayed reaction of realizing that K-Fed was trying to pick you up. That'll make anyone crazy. Even Lindsay Lohan.