Lindsay Lohan Has Sex on the Stairs

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I love Lindsay Lohan. Not because of her "talent," or her looks, or her breasts (well, maybe because of her breasts), but because she makes my job so much easier. Lindsay's been out of rehab a week, and there's already so many ridiculous gossip stories about her. And this one is my new favourite:

The National Enquirer spoke to Breanna Tierney, the ex-girlfriend of the guy Lindsay Lohan met in rehab, and she talked all about how Lindsay Lohan stole her man, and particularly, about how Lindsay had sex with him on the stairs of their rehab facility.

"Lindsay Lohan stole my fiancé and wrecked my life!"

"Riley went into rehab to get his life together and in the process meets Lindsay and ruins my life," she told The ENQUIRER.

"I loved Riley and Lindsay stole him. I met her at a meeting while they were still patients at Cirque, and I just knew something was up.

"She came into the meeting with Riley, and she comes over and sits next to me, being overly nice. She was complimenting me on my hair and trying to be my friend. It didn't seem sincere at all.

"A few days later, I get a text message from Riley telling me he wanted to 'take a break.' I knew instantly it was because of Lindsay.

"I've stuck by Riley through the good and the bad. We lived together for three years and planned on being together forever.

"But when he finally confessed to me that he had sex with Lindsay in one of the stairwells at Cirque -- that was it, we were done. Lindsay has no morals and needs some serious help -- besides drug rehab -- for all her other problems."

Wow, sex in the stairwell. They don't have beds in rehab? When you gotta have it, you gotta have it, I suppose. Now, I'm not saying Lindsay Lohan is a whore. But those boots she's wearing totally are.

Photo credit: Pacific Coast News