Jordan Topless in Cannes Showing Her Cans

11:42 AM, Filed under: Home \ Celebrities \ Katie Price (Jordan)

Pardon the pun, but here's Jordan topless in Cannes showing her cans. And frankly, I'd rather look at a pair of tin cans than Katie Price's breasts, because those things are gross. After so many breast implant surgeries, going up and down in size, her nipples are so mangled they're not even recognizable as nipples anymore. I would say I hope she didn't breast feed her baby with those, but I don't think that would even have been possible.

Gross. Ick. Ewwy ew. Sorry.

Photo credit: Flynet

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Jordan's Lingerie Makes You Feel Bad About Yourself

11:17 AM, Filed under: Home \ Celebrities \ Katie Price (Jordan)

Katie Price, aka Jordan, seems to always be selling something, and usually it's herself. You can read into that comment whatever you like. Take this launch of Jordan's lingerie line, for example. What the hell is going on here? Does any woman in the world really identify the 100% plastic figure on that stage?

And what's with the line-up of fatties? Everyone knows big girls wear lingerie, but we really don't need to see it. And I don't know what's up with that girl on the right, but get me started. Let's just say she looks like she really doesn't want to be there.

More of Jordan lingerie pictures after the jump.

Photo credit: WENN

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Jordan's Nipple Slip: Most Disgusting. Nipple Slip. Ever.

01:15 AM, Filed under: Home \ Celebrities \ Katie Price (Jordan)

WARNING: If you are easily upset by disturbing imagery, you are strongly cautioned NOT to click on the pictures in this post! Why? Well, normally, we'd be all for a Jordan nipple slip, but that was before we knew that Jordan's nipples are completely sewn on.

That's right, Jordan's nipples have been completely removed, and then reattached (probably multiple times, thanks to her numerous breast augmentations, and reductions), and you can actually see the stitch marks around her nipple. It is the most hideous thing I have ever seen.

If you are masochistic, or don't mind being scarred for life, feel free to click on the pictures below, for the full size, truly uncensored images. Use at your own risk. Egotastic! will not be held liable for any medical issues incurred from viewing these pictures.

Photo credit: WENN / Splash

Link: Jordan's Nipple Slip: Most Disgusting. Nipple Slip. Ever.

Katie Price is an Ass

01:33 AM, Filed under: Home \ Celebrities \ Katie Price (Jordan)

Here's Katie Price aka Jordan flashing her ass, and kissing her sister full on the lips. I don't know why she's doing these things, but if I had to guess, I'd say she's either an attention whore, a regular whore, or retarded. Possibly a combination of all three.

Photo credit: Bauer-Griffin

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Jordan Launches Katie Price Lingerie Collection

06:08 PM, Filed under: Home \ Celebrities \ Katie Price (Jordan)

I don't know who would want, or be able to wear lingerie designed by, and for Jordan, aka Katie Price, but if the models in these pictures are any indication, it's no one normal or attractive. Though, according to The Sun, Jordan's new lingerie collection is for women with cup sizes from D to G. Yes, G.

"I've been wearing the wrong size bras for so long, I'm a 32G!

"My Katie Price range is for the bigger busted woman and I can assure you that the bras will give women the best lift and support - and of course look sexy!"

Apparantley, being a 32G isn't big enough for Jordan, though. She also told The Sun that she wants to be bigger.

"Pete loves my boobs - even though he never used to go for women with big boobs.

"I wanted to have another boob job a couple of weeks ago but was too ill."

Now, in counrty with such large-breasted models as Keeley Hazell and Sophie Howard, what i really don't understand is how none of the models at this lingerie launch are even remotely attractive. In fact, there was such a lack of quality models that Jordan's mother was decked out in her new slutty attire too.

Seriously, when Jordan is the best looking girl in the room, you know you've reached the bottom of the gene pool. So if cheap underwear, aging cougars, and terrible breast implants are your thing, enjoy the Katie Price Lingerie Collection.

More Jordan lingerie pictures after the jump.

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