Katie Price (Jordan)

Katie Price Pimps Her Double Dipper Stripper Look at Her Reality Television Launch

November 1, 2011 @ 8:34 am

Well, we did post Phoebe Price earlier today, so it only seems fair to give the unrelated Katie Price, the self-promoting pimpstress across the pond, an equal amount of the attention she so dearly craves.  (And the bustier and garter and panties don't hurt our charitable hearts.)

Katie Price launches a lot of projects. I'm not exactly sure what or where these projects lead, because outside of her spank bank potential, she seems to have little commercial viability. Nevertheless, such talent deficits never stopped the Kardashians, so onward and downward into reality television goes Katie Price with the launch of her new show, Signed by Katie Price. Granted, the Anna Nicole Smith show was quite popular, so there is precedent for large funbagged bleached blondes  to get drunk and fall down on TV and eyeballs to gaze, but you really do need to up the personal train-wreck quotient for this to work. Anna Nicole upped it a bit too far you might say. The only assumption we can make about Katie Price and her show -- anticipate many wardrobe malfunctions, either accidental or planned. Then, and only then, we might just tune in to the telly.  Enjoy.

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Katie Price Cleave-Launches Her Eponymous Magazine in London

November 1, 2011 @ 8:33 am

Seems like just yesterday we were conducting an impromptu OB/GYN examination of Katie Price following a late night drunken rip-fest at a London nightclub; now, just a few days later, the glamour model and (former) football player plow girl has decided to expose her inner most thoughts and dreams on the pages of her self-titled magazine, 'Katie'; I think it's sort of like Oprah's 'O' magazine, except less fat. It's hard to imagine there'd be much within the pages of 'Katie' worth discovering, but, we try not to judge a book by its cover, just look at all the vulvatastic schematics we found out about Katie on her latest upskirt. Enjoy.

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When Katie Price Drinks, She Gets Loose Lips

 
November 1, 2011 @ 8:33 am

CLICK HERE TO SEE THE UNCOVERED KAITE PRICE FLAPPERS

Look, far be it from Egotastic! to criticize one hot mess from slipping into something see-through, getting blinkered drunk with her polo playing boyfriend, spilling an endless series of cocktails on her dress, then clutzily climbing into her party limousine with her legs spreads, providing an upskirt view of panties not quite broad enough to cover her smackeroous majorus, therein snapped heartily by the local paparazzi.

Okay, I take that back, we can certainly criticize the polo playing boyfriend; I mean, c'mon Katie Price, a.k.a., Jordan, has bedded down any number of famous British footballers, as all nutty glamour models with distinctly girthy funbags really should; it's really a matter of tradition. But a polo player? Well, I suppose something is making this lady swelleth in her nest, so perhaps it's all good. Enjoy.

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Elton John Gets All The Hot Women To His Oscar Viewing Party

November 1, 2011 @ 8:28 am

Elton John and his new baby daddy hosted another of the big Oscar parties this year, a viewing shindig for a bunch of folks also not making the cut for the Academy Awards, but definitely making my refined list of girls I'd like to imagine being slapped by after I ask them if they like meat products.

Odette Yustman just looked super Yusty and sexy, Kim Kardashian she-bot appeared with extra spit and polish and perfect boobage, Charlotte Ross continues her medically induced age defying aweseomeness, Malin Akerman remains an underrated comedic hottie, Petra Nemcova just one damn super supermodel, Katie Price, previously known as the Jordan who made me drool excessively, Dianna Agron, irrepressible Glee breakout babe, and a reunion of the only straight reason for me to own the High School Musical DVD box set, petite hotties Ashley Tisdale and Vanessa Hudgens. Now, that's what I call a party! Enjoy.

Photo credit: Fame / Splash News

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Jordan Topless in Cannes Showing Her Cans

 
November 1, 2011 @ 8:20 am

Pardon the pun, but here's Jordan topless in Cannes showing her cans. And frankly, I'd rather look at a pair of tin cans than Katie Price's breasts, because those things are gross. After so many breast implant surgeries, going up and down in size, her nipples are so mangled they're not even recognizable as nipples anymore. I would say I hope she didn't breast feed her baby with those, but I don't think that would even have been possible.

Gross. Ick. Ewwy ew. Sorry.

Photo credit: Flynet

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Jordan’s Lingerie Makes You Feel Bad About Yourself

November 1, 2011 @ 8:20 am

Katie Price, aka Jordan, seems to always be selling something, and usually it's herself. You can read into that comment whatever you like. Take this launch of Jordan's lingerie line, for example. What the hell is going on here? Does any woman in the world really identify the 100% plastic figure on that stage?

And what's with the line-up of fatties? Everyone knows big girls wear lingerie, but we really don't need to see it. And I don't know what's up with that girl on the right, but get me started. Let's just say she looks like she really doesn't want to be there.

More of Jordan lingerie pictures after the jump.

Photo credit: WENN
Read More » »

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Jordan’s Nipple Slip: Most Disgusting. Nipple Slip. Ever.

 
November 1, 2011 @ 8:20 am

WARNING: If you are easily upset by disturbing imagery, you are strongly cautioned NOT to click on the pictures in this post! Why? Well, normally, we'd be all for a Jordan nipple slip, but that was before we knew that Jordan's nipples are completely sewn on.

That's right, Jordan's nipples have been completely removed, and then reattached (probably multiple times, thanks to her numerous breast augmentations, and reductions), and you can actually see the stitch marks around her nipple. It is the most hideous thing I have ever seen.

If you are masochistic, or don't mind being scarred for life, feel free to click on the pictures below, for the full size, truly uncensored images. Use at your own risk. Egotastic! will not be held liable for any medical issues incurred from viewing these pictures.

Photo credit: WENN / Splash

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