Katie Holmes vs. Tom Cruise: Fight!

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There really aren't two celebrities who annoy me more right now than Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. Well, maybe Paris Hilton. And Britney Spears. But Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are definitely in the top five. Anyway, I don't like them. I think their relationship is a sham, and their "baby" is either some strange alien being brought into existence by the sheer mental powers of the Scientology celebrity elite, or Verne Troyer.

So when news surfaces that there's trouble in fake paradise, I feel an obligation to alert you, and to make fun of it, too. So what is the trouble? Well, according to MSNBC's The Scoop, Tom and Katie got into a huge fight which ended with Katie packing up, and taking baby Suri to Ohio to be with her parents (who also don't like Tom Cruise).

"He told Katie he wasn't going, considering the bad relations between him and her family," an "insider" told the mag. "Katie was really happy he said that, because she'd been afraid to admit to him that she didn't want him to go."

The couple allegedly had a "huge argument" which ended with Katie declaring, "I'm doing this and you can't stop me." Her rep denies the story.

The episode, however, may be giving Holmes second thoughts. A "confidant" of hers told the mag: "Katie's very unhappy and beginning to realize she may have made a major mistake being with Tom."

Nice. Obviously she made a major mistake. Now she's got a kid, and and a crazy egomaniac midget to take care of. The best thing she could do at this point would be to leave Cruise, and their ridiculous, publicist-created relationship, and get back to whatever it was she was doing before she became the worst part of Batman Returns.

And does anyone else think these photos of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are staged? I mean, Tom Cruise never looked so tall in his life. Did they have teh "paparazzi" photographer lying on the ground while they posed "happily" making Tom look tall for the first time in his life?

Oh, and if you've got a particulaarly strong stomach, take a look at Katie Holmes' strech marks. Eesh.