Jessica Simpson’s Sexy Dance Isn’t Sexy

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I've been talking about Jessica Simpson's new "sexy" image quite a bit lately (read: Jessica Simpson: "I Have Amazing Boobs", Jessica Simpson's Dad is a Pimp, and, of course, I Can See Jessica Simpson's Nipples), but when it comes down to it, Jessica Simpson really isn't sexy at all.

This new image is so forced and contrived (mostly by her lecherous father) that in some ways it's quite off-putting. Sure, Jessica Simpson has a great body, and a pretty face, but that's not enough to make someone sexy. And neither is dancing badly on stage while butchering a classic 80s song. But it seems like Jessica thinks it is.

This Friday night at The Factory club in LA, Jessica Simpson made a surprise appearance, and took to the stage to sing (and I use that term extremely loosely) "You Spin Me Round (Like a Record)" by 80s one-hit-wonders Dead or Alive. Accompanied my male dancers who moved as naturally as she did (in other words, they just spazzing around the stage with no sense of rhythm or choreography), Jessica tried in vain to mimick what I can only assume she thinks is "being sexy" but looked more like a big-breasted fish out of water. And her singing was just as good.

But you don't have to take my word for it. Check out the videos for yourself:

And check out more pictures of Jessica Simpson's busty and short outfit (complete with cameltoe) after the jump.

Photo credit: X17