Jessica Simpson Is All Tongue

03:13 AM, Filed under: Home \ Celebrities \ Jessica Simpson

Woah, what the hell is going on here? It looks like Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo are going all 9 1/2 Weeks with some very kinky food play. Actually, these pictures of Jess and Tony swapping cake and spit were taken at the 28th birthday party for Tony Romo, where Jessica Simpson sang a song for her boyfriend, and then proceeded to feed him cake, and lick it off his face. I don't think I've ever been as turned on and grossed out at the same time.

Hey Jessica, I'm turning 28 in July, you wanna come to my party too? Don't forget to bring the cake... Wait a minute. I'm gonna be 28? Fuck, I'm getting too old for this shit.

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Jessica Simpson Topless and Shaved in Esquire

03:09 AM, Filed under: Home \ Celebrities \ Jessica Simpson

Jessica Simpson is topless on the cover of the may issue of Esquire magazine, and as you might have noticed, she's shaving. It's a little odd, but it's actually a redux of a classic Esquire cover featuring Virna Lisi. Anyway, if you don't care too much about that, the issue also features Jessica Simpson in some very sexy, and very wet swimsuit photos with a very generous helping of cleavage. It's hot stuff.

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Jessica Simpson Stripper Cam

12:05 PM, Filed under: Home \ Celebrities \ Jessica Simpson

So what does Jessica Simpson do when she's away from her boyfriend, Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo? Why, she strips for him on the web cam. That's right, a real life Jessica Simpson stripper cam. The Baltimore Sun reports that Jessica isn't shy, and gives her guy quite a show.

When they're apart, she will be - to quote Tina Turner - his private dancer, and she "isn't shy about her body - or her dance moves," Star magazine said.

"Jess has no problem showing Tony her favorite Pussycat Dolls routine. ... She will dance in front of her camera until she makes her man happy. ... She thinks it keeps the romance alive while they are far away from each other."

Now, either someone has to hack into that webcam feed, or Papa Joe's got to set up a website for this new-found talent of Jessica's but either way, I wanna see me some Jessica Simpson stripper webcam action. Now there's something I'd pay $29.99 a month for.

Here are some pictures that have nothing to do with this story, but Jessica Simpson looks good, so it works. More pics after the jump.

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Jessica Simpson Assumes the Position

11:24 AM, Filed under: Home \ Celebrities \ Jessica Simpson

Okay, so these pictures of Jessica Simpson crawling into her SUV on all fours wou'd be a lot hotter if instead of an SUV it was her bedroom, and instead of being fully clothed she was completely naked, and instead of a paparazzi picture it was a sex tape, but you can't always get what you want. Still, sometimes it's fun to imagine.

Actually, Jessica was crawling into her car because she was pretty loaded, aka smashed, aka sauced, aka drunk. Boyfriend Tony Romo was also there to make sure the tipsy Simpson made it home alright. What happened after that is up to your imagination...

Photo credit: WENN

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Jessica Simpson's Naked Acting Ambition

01:18 PM, Filed under: Home \ Celebrities \ Jessica Simpson

Well, this is the best story I've heard all day, if not all week. According to FemaleFirst, Jessica Simpson is so desperate to be taken seriously as an actress, that she is willing to do a full-frontal nude scene in order to get a prestigious movie role. That's right, we may get to see Jessica Simpson naked on the big screen.

A source said: "Jessica is in the running for a role that, if she gets it, will put her right on the map in terms of acting.

"The only hitch is that the script requires a number of quite graphic scenes including a full-frontal nude scene. Jessica is so desperate to land the role and get the industry's respect that she's ready to go against her better judgement, and her family, by agreeing to bare all."

Earlier this year, Jessica's father Joe Simpson forced her to turn down a potentially Oscar-winning role as a porn star - insisting she keep her clothes on.

He said: "The last script that came to us was for Jessica to be a porn star. We were promised we would win an Oscar with that. I told them, 'I think we'll just buy a statue of a little man and keep our clothes on.' "

Okay, so who do we need to petition, who do we need to pay, and who do we need to hire to kill Joe Simpson so that this Jessica Simpson nude scene can happen? Seriously people, if ever there was a reason to work together, this is it. Now, if only Lindsay Lohan were as desperate to be seen as a "serious actress."

More Jessica Simpson pictures after the jump.

Photo credit: Pacific Coast News

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Jessica Simpson Shows Off Her New Boyfriend, Tony Romo, and Her Ass

12:41 PM, Filed under: Home \ Celebrities \ Jessica Simpson

The big gossip today is the first sighting of Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo out in public together. But besides showing off her new Dallas Cowboy football playing boyfriend, Jessica also showed off her ass, thanks to the paparazzi's flashes.

I wonder who got a better look at Jessica's goods, Tony, or us? Hard to say this time, but I bet if he hasn't already, he'll be getting much more up close and personal with Jessica soon...

Photo credit: Pacific Coast News / X17

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Jessica Simpson No Fall Down, No Go Boom

12:46 PM, Filed under: Home \ Celebrities \ Jessica Simpson

Here's Jessica Simpson trying, and nearly failing, to navigate her way across a steel grate, while wearing high-heel shoes, and a tight dress. Oh how I wish she would have fallen flat on her face. That would have made for a much funnier post. And so what if Jessica Simpson had to get hurt in the process, such is the price of comedy.

At least we ot some pretty great facial expressions out of it. Anyone feel like doing a little Photoshop?

Photo credit: INF Photo / Splash

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Jessica Simpson Uses Her Marketing "Talents"

09:45 AM, Filed under: Home \ Celebrities \ Jessica Simpson

It's nice to see that know matter what Jessica Simpson is selling, be it a crappy new album, a crappy new movie, or a crappy new line of shoes and handbags, you can always count on her to make the most of her impressive "marketing talents." And by "marketing talents," I mean her boobs, obviously.

Those breast of hers do come in handy, though. Instead of having to actually prove that whatever crap she's selling isn't actually crap (which is pretty hard to do), Jessica Simpson can just distract you with her cleavage, and there goes your hard earned cash.

No points for innovation, but she definitely wins on execution.

Lots more pictures of Jessica Simpson, and the reasons she's famous, after the jump.

Photo credit: Splash

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Jessica Simpson's Country Cleavage

11:23 AM, Filed under: Home \ Celebrities \ Jessica Simpson

Jessica Simpson was at the Country Music awards because she's supposedly putting out a Country music album. I think that's the worst idea anyone has ever had in the history of ever, but at least we got some Jessica Simpson cleavage out of the deal. Because everyone knows the best way to distract yourself from the fact that it's Country music is by throwing in a nice pair of breasts.

Lots more Jessica Simpson pictures after the jump.

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Jessica Simpson = Cleavage

12:45 PM, Filed under: Home \ Celebrities \ Jessica Simpson

There are some performers with whom I actually associate a body of work. I only associate Jessica Simpson with her body. Maybe it's because her career has been so incredibly lacklustre, or maybe because her body is so incredibly hot. Either way, I am guilty of completely objectifying Jessica Simpson, and I love it.

And from the looks of it, she loves it too.

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